• Who is to blame?

    I was in a relationship a long time ago. It was long and drawn out, seemingly going nowhere time in my life. In fact I felt like I was going nowhere along with the relationship. I was standing still while the entire world was moving, at least going somewhere! I knew for a long while that I should do something different but was too afraid of what others would think, that I wasn’t strong enough to do it, that I should be happy with what I have. Have you ever felt like that?

    I continued to be active in this relationship until I couldn’t stand it anymore and walked away. It didn’t feel good, I was in mourning for a good long time, but I walked away because it was time for me to change the direction I was going, and the direction of that relationship.

    I could have blamed others for the situation that I was in, I could have very well wallowed in the embarrassment that “other people knew” and thought me to be ridiculous for doing such a thing, and deep down knowing that I could go back because familiar was what I knew. Familiar was safe.

    Ever felt that way about a person or a thing? I’ve also overstayed my welcome in a number of jobs as well!

    What I learned from this time in my life was that I needed to do something outside of my ordinary in order to have a different outcome. No, it wasn’t planned but it was necessary. It didn’t make anyone feel good, but change, fast and drastic change rarely does! Change creates the confusion of the many options in front of us and forces us to focus and pay attention, not to what others are saying, but what your soul is crying out for. What I didn’t know then is that strong people listen to their own voice, sing to their own tune and find their own way… unapologetically! Others will either accept this new you, or (like my husband says) tell their story walking! WHOA!

    Many times we look to the other person, the other situation, the job, you fill in the blank.. to blame for our misfortune. I’m convinced as the universe continues to bless me with people, situations, and associations that it is how I respond to these “things” that makes the difference! No one can take advantage of us without our permission, so when that “thing” continues to happen to us, what is the real reason for it? Who do we look to blame for these same/similar situations sitting at our doorstep?

    We have to be responsible for ourselves and have the courage to free ourselves of the guilt, shame, and worry that we carry as our “emotional baggage”. When we look to ourselves for our part in the situation being what it is or was, find a way to forgive ourselves for behaving in a way that is not loving to ourselves and forgiving others for their role in the situation… we are truly LIVING!

    What will you do differently today?

    Will you look inside yourself and make that bold step towards the  life that’s truly yours?

4 Responses so far.

  1. Rhonda Y says:

    Provocative, challenging and thought-provoking! Great article!

  2. Maria says:

    Makes you want to say “hmmm” Funny, that’s exactly what I had to do when I realized I didn’t like the situations I was allowing to take place in my life when I decided to make this change. No correction I needed to make a change and take stock of every aspect of my life to come to a better ME.